mamaguru

Body Update

First of all, thank you for the out-pouring of support.  When I revealed my autoimmune disorder, so many people reached out with messages and comments which surprised and touched me.  Here’s an update:

I just ended a 3 day semi-juice fast and I feel a lot better.  I drank living juices for breakfast and lunch, followed by broth-based soup dinners.  No dairy or wheat.  I didn’t snack except for a little fresh pineapple (which is very good for arthritis).  I have done strict fasts in the past, but this time I was much more relaxed.  I don’t see the point in suffering through a detox just to rebound with a retox.  I didn’t take out caffeine, because I never intended to give up coffee.  Why go through days of grumpy, sluggish headaches only to drink coffee later?  I need to be energetic and alert right  now.  In fact, lack of energy is a main symptom I am trying to eliminate.

It has been two weeks since I’ve had any nightshades. 

I feel a lot better.  In no way am I cured.  I still have stiffness in my hands and toes, but it is a bit better.  My pain has gone down from an eight to a four.  For me, level four pain is doable.  I don’t put much stock in this yet.  The nature of my symptoms is to flare and remit, so I can only judge its effectiveness through a long lens.  I am grateful for the relief and hopeful that it may work, but I remain skeptical.

Emotionally the nightshade elimination hurts.  I’m fine with giving up potatoes and eggplant.  Tomatoes are very hard, but giving up peppers is daunting.  I cook with red pepper flakes almost everyday.  I want my kids to develop a pallet that can appreciate spicy food.  So many cuisines rely upon peppers for flavor: Thai, Indian, Mexican, to name a few.  If I think about it too long, wondering if I’ll be able to go out to eat without a huge hassle, I get apprehensive.

But I take it one day at time, one meal at a time.

Today I am feeling a little bit better.

Healing Myself

I’m nervous to put this out there:

I have an autoimmune disease. 

I’ve written about it before, but not in about a year.  I’ve had symptoms that match lupus and rheumetoid arthritis, but conflicting blood work.  My current diagnosis is: atypical rheumatic disorder.

It costs about $600 to be told that.  It means nothing.

I have tried acupuncture, massage, cupping, diets, fasting, exercise, medicine, salt-water soaks, prayer and willpower to rid myself of my symptoms.  It is hard to know what works, because the nature of autoimmune diseases is that they flare and remit.  That means if I make a change and feel better, the change might have made a difference or it might just be a time in between flares.  Needless to say that makes it extremely frustrating to endure and difficult to treat.

For a while I thought I had it under control.  I loosely followed an anti-inflammatory diet and had strong exercise and sleep routines.  Regular salt-water soaks reduced my pain significantly.  At the end of last summer, a flare burst in my body and I never fully recovered.  For me flares mean chronic pain, exhaustion and pronounced arthritic symptoms.  My body feels heavy, like all the trace metals in it are suddenly magnetized and pulling me down towards the Earth’s core.  It is hard to find motivation to do anything more than the absolute necessary work of each day.

I haven’t felt like myself in nine months.

I haven’t felt good in nine months.

Not even for a moment.

Recently, a new symptom popped up: a topical allergic reaction to nightshade vegetables.  Nightshade vegetables are a class of vegetables which contain a compound called solanine, which triggers inflammation in many people.  The most common nightshades are eggplant, potatoes, ground cherries, peppers and most regrettably, tomatoes.  There is a strong link between arthritis and nightshades.  I gave them up for a short period last year, but didn’t notice a change, so I added them back.  This last week, my hands have blistered, calloused and cracked just by touching them.  Even after touching them for one minute and washing my hands with soap, they continued to sting for an hour afterwards.  The flare that never quite ended started at the end of summer, also known as, tomato season.

If nightshades cause this strong a reaction to the briefest contact with my skin, what might they be doing inside my body?

I’ve done a bit more research and I learned that it takes one to four months without nightshades to notice a difference.  I did not eliminate them for that long before and I wasn’t careful about hidden sources, so it’s worth a shot.  As a foodie, the thought of life without tomatoes breaks my heart.  As a person with an autoimmune disease, the thought of life without pain elates my spirit.

I live on baited breath.

I am about to embark on a detox program in hopes that I will come out of it healed.  I will begin with a juice fast, followed by a raw food diet with a slow integration of other anti-inflammatory foods.  I will compliment this with daily cardio and a detoxifying yoga routine.  Salt has been extremely effective for pain relief, so I will use it daily as well as massage.

In the past I shared a weightloss diary with my readers, but I ended up feeling stressed about not getting my desired results, especially when flares interfered with my ability to push myself.  I hesitate to broadcast any diet or self-improvement plan, because I don’t want to repeat that experience.  But this is the truth of my life.  I have not been able to follow through with many ideas I have for mamaguru.com because of this pain.  I also know that autoimmune disorders are on a rapid rise and those of us suffering from them need answers and support.  I hope this detox ends with a healthier, happier me, but if it does not, that’s valuable information too.

I have one more tomato-based recipe to share later next week, but then it’s back to the kitchen to get my creative juices flowing.  I hope to learn some fabulous new recipes and cooking techniques as I wean my cuisine from tomato dependence.  As daunting as this detox seems, I’m also exhilarated by the motivation to broaden my cooking skills and the fingers-crossed hope that I just may wind up healing myself.

Please wish me luck, keep me in prayers and send wonderful recipes my way.  I’ll update you about my progress periodically.

Namaste,

Rebecca