Where in the world is mamaguru these days?
I’m getting a few emails wondering that question. Where am I? Am I on vacation? When am I coming back? Am I OK?
Let me answer with a picture.
I approach the beach in the early morning light. I am alone for a minute. My husband and children have already set up camp at the shore, but I took a detour to the bathroom, so I walk unencumbered towards the water. I have two free hands, a miracle. I am not carrying a heavy bag, pulling a wagon, or even holding a cluster of sweet chubby fingers. No strap digs into my shoulder.
Aloneness feels like freedom these days, though ten years ago it felt like a sentence of solitary confinement.
The path I take to the beach is high, a small hill at the end of a flat state. I meander slowly, scan the horizon for my beloveds, smile at them, and then look away. I take in the red and white striped lifeguard stand, the billowing sea grass, the blinding sunlight rippling like a sheet of aluminum foil across the length of my ocean.
This is where I have been dear readers, smack dab in the heart of my life. On my birthday last year I started a project: it was a grand idea of devoting a year to authentic living. And I’m actually doing it! I’m even writing it!
But not here on mamaguru.com.
Every project has a form, and this one is a book. Right now between my kids being home for summer, writing my book, living this mindful year, readying other minibooks to be published soon, something had to give.
That phrase, something had to give, catches my attention as I write. Of course it means what we all know, that I couldn’t do it all, but look at the words, something had to give. I did give something, time and freedom, and I chose (and continue to choose) to give it to myself.
Mamaguru.com is a labor of love, the keyword being labor. It’s a lot of work that benefits others, but comes at a cost to me. Writing essays, tips, and recipes consumes time and energy, and this website doesn’t have profitable advertising to offset those costs. Truth be told, I am weary of giving without the balance of a return. That is why I am choosing to devote my limited resources towards myself and my project right now. It is time for a restructure.
But I still love you. Still love mamaguru.
I am not gone forever, and indeed, I may just get around to publishing the stockpile of articles and recipes I have been amassing. Part of me feels guilty for hoarding my delectable recipe for Key Lime Pie Ice Cream when it’s so hot outside. But for the time being, expect just postcards from my current trip around the sun. My solar return (the astrological term for birthday) is in November.
Until then, I’ll see you when I see you.
Yesterday, on my Sunday bike ride, I pedaled past a mama duck and her babies waddling near a canal.
The image you just conjured in your head from that sentence is wrong. This was an entirely different scene than the typical warm fuzzies we picture when we think of mama ducks and their obedient babies.
These babies weren’t babies. They were probably one of families of ducklings that had hatched back in Spring, around Easter (see picture above). I’d admired those little yellow balls of fluff trailing behind their proud mama. These ducks had grown into what I’d estimate as teenage duck size. And wouldn’t ya know it, they acted just like human teenagers.
They fell out of line and refused to follow mama like good little ducklings. I kid you not, I saw this mama duck turn her head back at her wayward teenage ducks and angrily quack them back into line. She was miffed! She got up in their faces. The teenagers eventually followed her, but they were slow, sullen, and still a bit wayward.
I laughed so hard.
Because teenagers. Because ducks.