mamaguru

My what big eyes I have! #silly #nofilter #nomakeup

My what big eyes I have! #silly #nofilter #nomakeup

School starts next week, so this week we’re splitting our time between getting ready and savoring the end. My girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher and she gave me 100 pencil cutouts for the kids to organize. Look out, Mrs. Peacock; Jack is one smart cookie! #backtoschool #summer #kindergarten #100 #math

School starts next week, so this week we’re splitting our time between getting ready and savoring the end. My girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher and she gave me 100 pencil cutouts for the kids to organize. Look out, Mrs. Peacock; Jack is one smart cookie! #backtoschool #summer #kindergarten #100 #math

View form under the floppy hat as the last lazy days of summer unfurl. It’s been wonderful, hasn’t it? #miami #summer #beach

View form under the floppy hat as the last lazy days of summer unfurl. It’s been wonderful, hasn’t it? #miami #summer #beach

Beach boys making tunnels. #miami #summer #boys #mamaguru

Beach boys making tunnels. #miami #summer #boys #mamaguru

Nana is in town so the kids are at #dylanscandybar #grandparents #candy

Nana is in town so the kids are at #dylanscandybar #grandparents #candy

Hey lifeguard! No texting on duty! I’ve seen this twice this summer. This was at Miami Springs’ Pool, the other was at Matheson Hammock’s atoll beach, full of the toddler set.  Lifeguards shouldn’t be allowed to have phones on their chairs. Too tempting. Too dangerous. Have you seen this too? #badlifeguard #miami #miamispringspool #mathesonhammock #dangerous #pool #beach

Hey lifeguard! No texting on duty! I’ve seen this twice this summer. This was at Miami Springs’ Pool, the other was at Matheson Hammock’s atoll beach, full of the toddler set. Lifeguards shouldn’t be allowed to have phones on their chairs. Too tempting. Too dangerous. Have you seen this too? #badlifeguard #miami #miamispringspool #mathesonhammock #dangerous #pool #beach

The Poetry of Science

heart leaf on sand

My mother was born today.

Last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I thought of that miracle that took place many years ago:

My mother’s birth, the birth of my first great love, which preceded my own life.

Flabbergasted with awe, I poked open my curtains to glimpse the Super Moon.  I had watched it rise earlier with my three other great loves, my husband and two sons.  Jack was tired at twilight, so Andres took him home early.  Max and I shared a few more minutes sitting atop a picnic table in the park and watching a bat dart across the sky illumed with blinding moonlight.  Then we walked home, hand in hand, me with my first born child.  Earlier in the day, Jack and I had walked hand in hand along the beach and watched our shadows do the same.

All my life I wanted love.

I imagined it, dreamed it, conjured it, searched the globe for it, grieved over it, raged for it, even tried to give up on it.

Now that I have it, it’s hard not to blink back tears at the miracle of it.  How, in the end, which is also a great beginning, everything worked out exactly as it should have to bring me to this particular place and time with so many hands to hold.

And the miracle of it, the poetic miracle is that today we celebrate the moment my mother was born.  I was not a whisper or a glint on that bright entry into the world.

Except I was.

Because inside her body, she already held 600,000 eggs, two of which would become my sister and me.

Upon her birth she had already carried them half of her life, because at 20 weeks gestation, all the potential for future life is already established inside of a baby girl.

That is astonishing, I hear the echo of my old poetry professor saying, as she did after reading every poem, letting potent silence fill space between each syllable.

Uh     ston     ish     ing.

I wonder now, if I had known the poetry hidden inside of science, if I might not have been an English major.  I once knew a poet who had majored in botany and shamelessly poached it for vocabulary.  Her poems were beautiful and published quickly.

The paths we don’t take are always so intriguing to ponder:

all that could have been

right beside

all that is.

For years our floors have been covered with cars and trucks, but watching my baby’s body lean out and grow this summer makes me wonder: how long will it last? #hotwheels #traffic #motherhood

Good morning! I took my shadow on I bike ride today. #bike #selfportrait #miami #shadow

Good morning! I took my shadow on I bike ride today. #bike #selfportrait #miami #shadow

100% #love

100% #love